Lost, scared, broken,
I drop to my knees and curse the day
I became so weak.
The day my heart shattered into
a million pieces.
The day God decided I was to be
eternally punished.
I've become blind,
the only thing I see is hopelessness.
My walls come crumbling down
with the force of a million armed soldiers,
the blow overwhelming.
The wind is knocked out of me,
the breath punched out of my lungs.
I gasp for air between tears
and struggle to keep the agonizing sounds
from escaping my throat.
The blade rests between my fingers,
hovering over my pale flesh, gleaming.
I let out my agonizing sobs in anticipation
for what i'm about to do,
and let my hand whip across my soft skin.
Immediately the stinging pain soothes me,
my cries turn into laughter,
My mind is cleared for a moment.
I repeat this process until the tears stop.
I am blank.
I can breathe.
I can see the life flow from my body.
And I can sleep knowing I gained some strength back.
Knowing that the weakness I felt
escaped
with the blood shed from my veins.
