Look at me, how i present myself.
Do I look healthy? Do I look sane?
I wake up everyday, plaster a smile on my face, and come to school.
Bubbly Raina is ready to face the day. Ready to laugh. And joke.
And be a normal person.
The normal, happy person that everyone knows and loves.
But the normalcy is only skin deep.
How do you tell someone that their mind process is wrong?
How do you help someone escape
from their disturbing mentality?
You Can’t.
So here I sit, drenched in the delusions of my brain.
Remembering things that should have been long forgotten,
letting them eat at me.
But then I run into a friend, and it’s all smiles.
We act like idiots and yell obnoxiously.
We stuff our faces with food and watch tons of tv.
And everything is fine until...
Something in my head pulls the trigger.
And again, I am trapped.
Maybe I am a fiend for the way the insanity makes me feel.
It’s like a drug.
When I become this person, the world is a sharper place to be.
My eyes are more acute to things,
my ears are like sound vacuums.
I feel raw, powerful, like an animal.
I am no longer of this world.
I am capable of anything, even murder.
I am the monster my past molded me into. And I love it.
But who really knows?
I’m just a sweet girl, sadly misunderstood.
One of the strongest people they know, given my childhood.
Probably one of the wisest too.
I’m a trophy.
Until my brain sparks and the very thought of anguish makes me giggle.
I only want the world to feel what I feel.
I want them to suffer they way i suffered.
Let the rest of them fall in love with insanity, like I did.
